Rules Of Flying

After recently returning to Australia after a few years abroad, I observed and learnt many things, especially about travelling. Over the past 2 years I calculated 50 international flights that I had taken which sounds amazing. I must admit, it is, but flying so frequently also lent my eyes to some annoying and downright stupid habits that I witnessed in many an Airport around the world. So, with a rant coming on, I’ve decided to write a list of Rules to the discerning would-be traveller, in the hope of improving everyone’s Airport experiences. Here goes:

1. Security Snails.

There is a reason airlines instruct people to arrive a few hours early, and the Security Screening process is just one of those reasons. It is not difficult to start getting ready for the X-Ray machine before you actually reach it. Phones, wallets, belts, chains, rings can go in your bag/pack, Laptops/tablets can be removed from their cases in seconds and plastic bags of gels/liquids should be in your hand, it may only save a minute or two but imagine if everyone thought like this?!

2. The Over-Exuberant Sheep Passenger.

Nothing annoys me more to see the brain-dead folks who decide to line up to board the plane when they see a member of staff come to the gate to drop off the Passenger Manifest 30 minutes before your boarding time. Sit the f*ck down people, you have a reserved seat, YOU WILL NOT BE LEFT BEHIND!!

3. Noisy Children on flights.

This seems to be happening on every single flight these days. I am all for a nice family holiday, but parents need to take responsibility for their kids in these situations. No amount of table slamming in the back of your seat, screaming, or seat tugging is remotely funny in my book, yet for some Parents, it’s hilarious.

4. Seat Grabbing Sloths.

This is another infuriating one. When someone behind you decides to pull your seat back to get out of their seat to use the toilet/go for a walk/get some peanuts. THIS IS WHAT YOUR ARMRESTS ARE FOR, FOOL! Particularly annoying if you happen to be asleep or trying to eat your box meal of Teriyaki Chicken that you paid $20 for.

5. Hand Baggage Hogs.

These days when you fly you pretty much have to pay for any add on. In flight meal, headphones, blanket, CHECKED LUGGAGE. Airlines gotta make money. As a result, I see more and more bulky suitcases allowed on board as “Hand Luggage”, taking up all the overhead space leaving little or no space for the trusty backpack. The people that do this surely can afford the extra $25 to check the bag underneath the big bird, it’s time the Airlines got tough on this one. It’s turning into a case of “Board as soon as you can” just to ensure you can find a space for your bag overhead.

6. The Overly Affectionate Couple.

On a recent flight from Singapore to Perth, a few rows in front of me, there was a couple making out for a large portion of the 5 hour flight. Before you say “If you don’t like it, don’t look”, the noise two people make when smooching is well audible from 3 metres away. It’s petulant, annoying, and spare a thought for the other person sat next to them! Utterly classless. Three words – GET A ROOM! Lucky for me my Beats by Dre headphones were able to drown out the Mile High Morons.

Don't be doing this on your flight!
Don’t be doing this on your flight!

There. A few simple things that could improve flying for everybody. Have I missed any out? Post your recommendations here or, jump onto Facebook and search for Passenger Shaming who are also on Instagram with the @passengershaming handle for some truly terrible examples of bad passengers. Spread the word!



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